Home

Home.

I never thought the idea of home could be such a fluid concept. Where is my home? To tell you the truth... I'm not so sure anymore.

If home is where I grew up and where my family is - well, then home is in America, in Ohio.

If home is where I started my first big girl job and first lived on my own and first started paying bills and building a life outside of the people I've known my whole life - well, then home is in Accra. Here - in Ghana. In this land that's not so foreign anymore. In this place I've spent the last two years of my life. With these people I can't imagine living without.

For those of you who have never been to Ghana, there is nothing I could possibly say to you to help you understand life here - nothing. There is no number of words that could be spoken to even give you a hint of what it's like here. Sure you see the pictures and you hear the stories... but LIFE could never be boiled down to a few pictures or a few stories.

It's sad that none of you at home will ever really get it. That no one will ever really understand these last two years of my life. Two years that have shaped me and my relationship with God more than ten years would have back in America.

You'll never understand just how hot it gets out in that African sun - or in the house when the electricity is off. You'll never understand what it's like when all you want is a cold shower but there is no running water. You'll never understand what it's like to sleep on a tile floor when the electricity is off. You'll never understand what it's like to just want to walk somewhere peacefully but never getting the chance because there is always someone yelling, "Obruni." You'll never understand what it's like to feel like all you are is an ATM machine - being chased by kids on the street yelling, "Obruni, give me money!" You'll never understand what it's like to be hungry because you can't open the refrigerator or cook anything because the electricity is off.

And on the other hand...

You'll never understand how hilarious and amazing my students are and how much I love being part of their wacky lives. You'll never understand the peace and gratitude when you realize God is bigger than this whole world and He really is everywhere - with you - always. You'll never understand how great it is to be able to buy pretty much anything you need from the window of your car. You'll never understand how good the food is that you buy off the street - Simple Brothers! You'll never understand the pure joy of real nacho chips. You'll never understand how great it is to buy three movies that have just come out in the theater for about $8. You'll never understand what it's like to accidentally kill a baby chicken on your way to work. You'll never understand what it's like to keep your eye on that goat because just maybe today is the day Obadiah decides to leap over and attack you.

Saddest of all is you'll never understand what it's like to make friends here.


Friends that I can't even begin to explain. I've been trying for the better part of 30 minutes to just write something, anything that would do justice to the people I've met here and can't imagine living without. Maybe when I'm back in America and can look back on these two years will the words finally form. The words to say how I'll carry each of them with me wherever I go. The words to say how each of them has touched my life and encouraged me. The words to say thank you.


Today was brunch at the Golden Tulip - an annual "goodbye" brunch for those of us who have finished our contracts and are off to something else. None of it feels real yet. "You mean I'm leaving Ghana NEXT Friday???" That can't be possible! But here it is... the necklace I received as my going away gift. The necklace we've been waiting for, for an entire year. Is it really mine? Am I really leaving this place? America has never felt so far away.






We've even begun to say goodbye to some of our favorite places...


It's hard to believe that we'll never eat at Tip Top or Monsoon again. It's hard to believe that we'll never get ice cream from Frankie's again. It's hard to believe that I'll never shop at Global Mama's again.

Never, never, never...


I can't believe that I've lived in Africa for the past two years. Really? AFRICA?

Apparently, so.


I'm looking forward to starting a new chapter in life but it's hard to imagine that this chapter is ending. It's hard to not keep looking back to where I've been and it's equally hard to not keep looking forward to where I'm going. I hope to find a balance this last week and a half in Ghana that keeps me remembering and loving where I've been, paying attention to where God is taking me in the future, and enjoying where God has me right at this moment. I'm still in Ghana because my life isn't finished here yet - God isn't quite done with me.

I can only pray that when I get on that plane next Friday, God is smiling and saying, "You fought the good fight, you finished the race, and you kept the faith. Well done good and faithful servant."


I haven't always been the light God wants me to be... I know that. I haven't even always given it my best shot - I'll be honest. There have been days when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball, watch a movie, and not talk to anyone - and I've given in. But God is bigger than my bad days and my bad moods. God can do anything with someone who is willing to take a leap of faith, to make sacrifices, to suffer.


God has held me through these two years in Ghana and I know He'll take me through the end. Through leaving this place and these people. Through transition back to America. Through it all.