Learning about myself

This week we were back to school after being off for a week due to H1N1 hysteria. It was a long break that was some much needed time away from school - even if it did stress me to the max. "A break from school stressed you out more than being in school?" you ask? Yes. Absolutely.

Here are two things I've learned about myself. Two things that I HAVE to have in my life and two needs that were definitely not met while being away from school. It's weird to think that I'm 24 and things two things caught me off-guard. Shouldn't I KNOW this by now?! Well, whatever. I know it now.

#1 - I canNOT be around groups of people all the time. I just can't. I require more time to myself in a day than most people probably need in a week. 100% introvert, right here. Being around lots of people wears me out. It stresses me out. Of course, this has NOTHING to do with the people around me here in Ghana - I know that I'm this way everywhere I am. The people here in Ghana are some of the best people I've ever met in my life! This is not a poorly conceived attempt at ridiculing the people around me in any way. Even after saying that, some people probably still don't understand what I'm saying and if you don't: you're probably an extrovert. My point is: I need time to myself to recharge and refuel. Sitting and thinking, reading a book, watching a movie... those are all fun things for me. One of the great parts about being the way I am is that I feel like I'm rarely bored. There's always something to read (especially now that I'm on BBC ALL THE TIME), always something to watch, always something to write about or think about, always a game of Minesweeper to play (I'M OBSESSED)... I always have something to do - I'm much more comfortable being alone than I am with being in a group. It's just the way God made me.

#2 - I have to feel like I have a purpose. I have to feel like I'm doing something with my time and my life. In Ghana, I'm here to teach and be a witness to these students. Granted, I don't do that well all the time but there's always some new goal to work toward and there's always some work to do. At school I have a place to be, I have a place where I fit, and I have a job to do.

These two things were totally working against me all break. All my friends around me are amazing extroverts. It's hard to be an introvert in an extrovert world, which is no ones fault - I'm not blaming anyone. Then there wasn't any specific role for me to fill over the break. I feel like these two things almost contradict each other. On the one hand I like to be one my own and doing my own thing but on the other I have to feel like I'm doing something with my life. Does anyone else see the apparent contradiction? Anyway, I do.

I guess that's just what I am. An amalgamation of quirks, phobias, pet peeves, preferences, desires, hopes... all contradicting each other.

I like it.


Okay and here is my new favorite song! "Our God" by Chris Tomlin.

Water you turned in to wine
Opened the eyes of the blind
There's no one like you
None like you

Into the darkness you shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There is no one like you
None like you

Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God you are higher than any other
Our God is healer
Awesome in power
Our God
Our God

And if our God is for us
Then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us
Then what could stand against

Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God you are higher than any other
Our God is healer
Awesome in power
Our God
Our God

And if our God is for us
Then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us
Then what could stand against

Really you could probably download anything by Chris Tomlin and it would be amazing. Him or Christy Nockels. She's pretty amazing, too!

Passion 2011. I'LL BE THERE!

Love to everyone in America :-)